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Friday, June 18, 2010

my seeds have been planted and will not be so again

I had a vasectomy on Wednesday.

I was not anxious about the procedure; I approached it like I approach every other appointment I have in my life, "Oh shit, that's today!"

Luckily I was able to get the scrip filled for valium and vicadin on short order and was able to ingest one of each an hour before the procedure.

I am comfortable with inebriation; I have loads of experience with it. The valium and vicadin made me feel good.

The nurse handled my junk. "you didn't shave," she was not impressed.

"No, I totally forgot."

"Hmm, I'll look for a razor." she left me in the chair.

She returned with the Doctor who pulled out a double edged razor. Just the razor. His hands were trembling. My eyes grew wide.

"Two martini lunch doc?" I ask.

"No that's why I'm trembling so bad." deadpan.

A smile? Please be a smile. Yes a smile.

As a long time restaurant guy I am use to getting meals, drinks, desserts, shows, tattoos discounted or comped.

"What do you do for a living?" asked the doctor.

I answer.

"Are you kidding, I go to City,O' City after yoga and take all my vegetarian dates to WaterCourse. I spent my honeymoon in Puerto Escondido!"

"Is your insurance going to cover the procedure?" he asks.


"Just send me the bill I'll take care of it." he says.

Thanks Doc.

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