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Friday, June 18, 2010

my seeds have been planted and will not be so again

I had a vasectomy on Wednesday.

I was not anxious about the procedure; I approached it like I approach every other appointment I have in my life, "Oh shit, that's today!"

Luckily I was able to get the scrip filled for valium and vicadin on short order and was able to ingest one of each an hour before the procedure.

I am comfortable with inebriation; I have loads of experience with it. The valium and vicadin made me feel good.

The nurse handled my junk. "you didn't shave," she was not impressed.

"No, I totally forgot."

"Hmm, I'll look for a razor." she left me in the chair.

She returned with the Doctor who pulled out a double edged razor. Just the razor. His hands were trembling. My eyes grew wide.

"Two martini lunch doc?" I ask.

"No that's why I'm trembling so bad." deadpan.

A smile? Please be a smile. Yes a smile.

As a long time restaurant guy I am use to getting meals, drinks, desserts, shows, tattoos discounted or comped.

"What do you do for a living?" asked the doctor.

I answer.

"Are you kidding, I go to City,O' City after yoga and take all my vegetarian dates to WaterCourse. I spent my honeymoon in Puerto Escondido!"

"Is your insurance going to cover the procedure?" he asks.

"No."

"Just send me the bill I'll take care of it." he says.

Thanks Doc.

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